Forgiveness

forgiveness 2

 

Accusing eyes, chiding voices all around

Bravely I put on my mask of nonchalance

Which I keep handy, when fingers point at me.

But behind the mask a new wave of emotion

Surges with force, shattering my soul to fragments.

 

Each passing year etches another line on my face

Another silver streak painted in my curtain of hair

Memories, memories bringing joy or pain

As each petal of my heart slowly unfolds

A day I wish to relive, or one I wish to erase

 

I seem to have ripened, as I no longer cry

When a sparrow flies away or a butterfly flits by

I no longer ache when blooming flowers fade

For I know that tomorrow holds more of the same

Lives change, yes, but new life emerges, as always.

 

Yes, I seem to have ripened, I easily forgive

A taunt, a snide remark, a little venomous lie

I’ve ceased to complain when the fruits of my labour

Are taken for granted, dismissed as mundane

Like air, water, sunshine. They never complain.

 

But have I really ripened? I wonder

For I cower in fear, crouch in shame

Suddenly I feel raw, vulnerable, unsure

This little child in me, still the same

Refusing to grow, mature, and wizen.

 

Denying time and again that life is my school

That each dawning day is just another lesson

Learnt by making mistakes, slipping once in a while

But no, the child herself becomes the Master

Strict and unforgiving, bringing down the cane.

 

Punishing master, tormented pupil

Both housed in the same body

The body, the temple of the soul they say

With the constant schism between stern master and fearful child

What becomes of the soul? And of the temple?

 

Anguished pleas for forgiveness, of no avail

Master Guilt strikes hard with his iron rod

Accusing eyes, chiding voices all around

But no, they are within me, in my private world

Guilt assuming mountainous form, crushing my heart.

 

“God” I cry, “Do you not see this helpless child?”

“Yes”, He says “I see you, for I am within and without.”

“Tis you who do not see me, for you house monsters like this”

“Who go by the name of Guilt, Shame and Unworthiness

Feeding upon your soul, fat and ugly parasites.”

 

“Forgive, forgive yourself, see the beauty within”

“For I have planted little jewels in every one of you”

“With each crack of your heart these jewels can shine through”

“But tis your own will to dig up these gems”

“Clean and polish them as to let their sparkle out.”

 

“The monsters within are nothing but darkness”

“Lack of light to which you yourself add shape”

“You see them within, you see them without”

“Choose now to dissolve them with your own light”

For seen through forgiving eyes, the whole world becomes bright.”

 

Copyright ©2018angelbeamsblog

Painting: The Dance of the Soul by Galina Grygoruk (Saatchi Art)

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7 thoughts on “Forgiveness”

    1. Mille merci Gyslaine. On dit pour la musique que c’est celui qui écoute qui fait un chanteur un bon chanteur. Sans lui, le chanteur n’est pas complet. Je crois que c’est pareil pour l’écriture; ce sont les lecteurs comme vous qui faites sortir la poésie de mon coeur. Bonne journée et bonne continuation de votre écriture si belle.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. A wonderful flight of artistic imagination, while I was going through this incredible post.
    The only feedback that I’d like to share is I noticed that perhaps you didn’t add tags to this post, if you are comfortable then I highly recommend you use tags, that way you can reach out to more potential readers. You are a magnificent writer, may you & your blog continue to bloom in a blissful way 🙂

    Like

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